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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

spoken word: a tough career

so you wanna be a spoken word dude huh? Got that beat flow Kerouac talked about? Ready to speak at a pace that seems illiterate? Not ready to rap with a beat?

Spoken word people always kinda frustrate me. I mean..yeah it's a talent.. I could do it if I wanted.. I used to freestyle to bad beats on cocaine induced diatribes when I was a teenager. But why?

You're competing against the best at spoken word of all time. You gonna beat Hitler in a spoken word match? I don't think so.

Hitler: the most successful spoken word artist of all time.

It's like trying to make the best British Invasion band of all time in 2011. Gonna call yourselves the Beetles and rip it? No. Are you gonna recruit Patrick Stewart and lay down your latest spoken word for him to read?

No. He has a great narrative over-voice. I'm not gonna deny that..but back to Hitler..imagine Patrick Stewart reading Mein Kampf on an audio book. That would automatically become the greatest selling spoken word item of all time.

Patrick Stewart is available since Morgan Freeman refuses to narrate Hate speech...sadly the best form of spoken word after comedy.

Hello. I am your narrator..between me and Patty Stew we have the bases covered. I do the political, endearing narratives, he handles the hate speech or sci fi characters.

Stop the spoken word. It's annoying and lame. I don't want serious diatribes about politics "spoken to me". Tell jokes man..I don't want to hear your serious crap...but yeah, you spoken word bums..err facsists, err poets...are busy and hard at it. Write it in a book for me..I'll read it if it is free and I get the time while I'm scratching my ass on a bus, subway, tram or some other form of public lamesportation.

Serious politically motivated spoken worders: FUCK OFF.

I lied earlier. Here without further ado, is the greatest spoken word performer of all time.

His barks are mindbending....

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