undesirable roommates

the crazy dog lady

Most of us have met the type at some point throughout our days of having roommates. This person is not always the stereotypical rich individual who pampers a pet ala Paris Hilton. Usually, what we have here is a man hating woman who has replaced their missing male demographic with a beloved dog. The angry man hating lady who loves the "man" (err dog) in her life is also usually the candidate for the missing peanut butter jar.

The crazy dog lady also has difficulty realising that their dog is not a human, usually dressing it up in ridiculous undersized clothing or giving it an over the top human name like "Jacques Pierre". Forget about traditional dog food for their pet..this absurd suggestion would constitute animal cruelty. Nothing less than brie cheese, caviar, cured grade A meats and warm milk will do for their canine lover, often eschewing basic personal hygiene, interpersonal relationships and crucial expenses such as rent or food for their own diet.

It begins getting weirder after they have consummated the relationship.

 You know that you have a crazy dog lady for a roommate when the absurd levels of their comradery hit a new disturbing level. A disturbing level far beyond the bizarre clothes, fine food or delusions that the dog is infact a human being..and this is the inevitable consummation of the relationship. The pillow talk you may overhear coming from the room might seem funny at first, but when the long walks, romantic dinner dates and shared showers have finally culminated into this sickening aftermath, it is time to move on and put this degrading display behind you.

the over-emotional best friends

It seems like it is going to be perfect right? You see the want ad for a new roommate and find out three girls who are best friends from university want someone who is responsible, pays the bills and generally just is a normal individual to move in. The day comes and it seems great, you move in to your room, have the privacy you want and settle in for a good nights sleep.

But then it all comes crashing down. The simultaneous crying and squeamish arguments begin and the troubles and causes vary every day. Why are doors slamming and breakable objects being thrown around the room? Is it because the cluttered drawer girl A cleaned out had something important to girl B inside it? Or did girl C's ex boyfriend show up uninvited on girl A's night off obsessing over their failed relationship. Girl B is making fried chicken and didn't clean the cooking pan? Well it's time for Girl A to eat and it's dirty which is unacceptable, plus the oven was left on..what the hell? Girl C is allergic to pineapple. Why the fuck weren't the fresh wedges covered up? How could best friends be so insensitive. Girl B's pet rats are sick and Girl A just wants to exercise to lose some extra pounds but Girl B is mourning in the exercise space. Suck it up buttercup!

Stand clear, the best friends from university are sorting out who didn't take out the recycle bin.

Why are the girls who are best friends from university so complicated? It is a mystery shrouded in female hormones and psychology that we won't delve into here.